Instead, she fights alongside the brothers and actually rescues them more than once. At least Milano’s character is not the kidnapped damsel in distress from the video game.
#Watch double dragon cartoon movie#
It’s maybe the most embarrassing thing in a movie filled with embarrassing things. They call themselves the Power Corps and they’re comprised of upper middle class white kids in colorful denim who look like they just came from summer camp. Most of their outfits just look like whatever the costume department had lying around.Ī bleached-blonde Alyssa Milano is the leader of the most feared gang in the city. There’s no rhyme or reason to how they’re organized or even what they wear. The various groups of supposed criminals are laughably confusing, including overweight middle aged schoolboys, leather-clad bikers that ride BMX bikes instead of motorcycles, suicidal postmen, crazy mimes, and Michael Berryman. The gangs aspect of the movie was clearly ripped off from influenced by THE WARRIORS. We couldn’t be bothered to look up the name of an actual place in China Want to feel old? This far-off nightmare vision of the future takes place in 2007-thirteen years ago.Ī.k.a. Even more terrifying is the fact that the local news is run by Vanna White, George Hamilton and Andy Dick, all playing themselves. Jimmy and Billy also live in a dystopian future version of Los Angeles where earthquakes have ravaged the city and gangs have made a deal with police to run amok at night unchecked ala THE PURGE. Here’s what we know about the brothers: they live at home with their mom (who disturbingly looks so young I assumed she was one of their girlfriends for the first 10 minutes), they drive a souped-up station wagon called the Dragon Wagon that apparently runs on paper, and at least half of them can fight. Only in the 1990s could someone at a studio look at this and say, “Put this in theaters now!”ĭacascos and Wolf play Jimmy and Billy Lee, a last name which the film repeatedly uses for a lame recurring gag about their nicknames being Ugh (Lee) and Home (Lee). The script attempts to explain this away as his character just being a jokester hothead who doesn’t play by the rules, but we all know the real reason, Scott.
CUT TO Scott Wolf throwing basketballs at people, jumping on their backs and giving them noogies, and even doing the “What’s that behind you?” fakeout so he can run away. This is how pretty much every fight scene plays out: Mark Dacascos doing real choreographed fights and actual stunt work. In fact, outside of the shots where it’s clearly a stunt double doing the literal legwork, the filmmakers instead opt to have his character constantly cheat and rely on other gags. To absolutely no one’s surprise, no part of you will believe that Scott Wolf can hold his own when it comes to the action scenes. But the guy from Party of Five? Out of all the people in the world to headline a movie where the fights are supposed to be the main draw, you choose… Scott Wolf? (I’m not even going to mention the fact that his character is supposed to be at least part Asian.) The man is an actual skilled martial artist who’d already had a couple fighting flicks under his belt. There’s not much story to it-two brothers side-scroll through multiple levels of bad guys to rescue the kidnapped woman they (both?) love-so of course it’s perfect for a cinematic adaptation.Īnd nothing says 90s action movie like the dual star power of both Mark Dacascos AND Scott Wolf. Cannot compute…įor anyone not born in the previous century, Double Dragon was a popular arcade and Nintendo game in the late 1980s. This is so meta, I don’t know if it’s awful or good. If that’s not an unbelievably apt metaphor for this video game adaptation, then I don’t know what is. Wait a minute…Īt one point in DOUBLE DRAGON, one of the main characters actually kicks through a Double Dragon arcade game and destroys it. Two brothers must protect the sacred Double Dragon medallion from giving evil Robert Patrick powers that make him change form and become invincible. Stars: Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Robert Patrick, Alyssa Milano With SONIC THE HEDGEHOG making big bucks at the box office last weekend, it seems like a good time to check out a video game movie that was a lot less impressive… Double Dragon (1994)
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